Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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