barbara walters just said penis...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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