'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
