He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
