look no pants
i think my mom watched the whole time
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
