I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
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Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
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Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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