I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
