it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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