Already got asked if we're dating
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think I sprained my soul last night
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
