i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
