i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
