No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
