Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
