Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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