Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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