U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
