oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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