shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
