Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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