her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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