this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
