guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
