Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
