Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Are we still banned from the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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