then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize