All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
