you guys were way drunker than both of me
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
