I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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