I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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