Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
