He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
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It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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