i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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