I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
