And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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