forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
