Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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