Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
