Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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