I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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