yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just found puke in my bra..
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Are we still banned from the library?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
This is classic penis vs brain.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
