I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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