Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
