Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
