In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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