so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
