I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
