Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize