And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think my fart just growled at me.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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