Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
