I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
