i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
