You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
