Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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