lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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