my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
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I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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