omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
