y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
