so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
