I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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