My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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