well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The uberlube is also flammable
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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