Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
