I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
