sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
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It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
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Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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